I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
