You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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