im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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