life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
