You can't motorboat a personality
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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