We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
