I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wish you could order shots online.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
