I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
