sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
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Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
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Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend