Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.