He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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