I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
