Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
