I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
