He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
