i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
