We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Randomize
