turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
