he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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