I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
