hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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