All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Drake has all the answers
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
