is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
