how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize