Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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