I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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