I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
