is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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