I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
