hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
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last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
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I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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