So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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