Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
