Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize