Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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