chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
please come you make the beer taste better
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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