clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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