would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
