you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
