I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize