please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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