nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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