Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
