Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
