i need an iv and a liver transplant
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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