my shit smells like andre
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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