We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
