Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
