I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
