In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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