is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
