is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
