Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
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