I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
worst night to have a conscience
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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