she was so not down for the gang bang
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
