Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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