She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
