So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
