the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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