his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Even my vagina gasped.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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