I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do vagina's smell?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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