I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
