in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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