Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
