i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
