i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
