You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
