What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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