Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Randomize
