I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
