dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
